Thread:Sainami/@comment-5173115-20140219142440/@comment-5963425-20140220210144

= Review Abilities =

Genjutsu
Raido seems to have a disinterest in illusionary tricks, yet, he has an extraordinary ability to neglect the illusion, empower it with his own, and reflect it back to the caster. I’d suggest renewing that [absolute] technique, to make it in a way, that, even Raido can fall before genjutsu. Sure everyone can [resist] genjutsu to a point, but an illusion is meant to distract, manipulate and forsake the truth of reality upon you. It is a mind game that can involve more people, what involves in your heart, weaknesses, and even environment. Even so, a specialist illusionist should be capable of overthrowing this technique of Raido.

Anyway, my suggestion is to keep genjutsu one of his major weaknesses. The reason for this suggestion is that Raido is quite good already with a lot of fields, and genjutsu is not the [easiest] to perform and keep up. And again, it will be a major disadvantage for him.

Sensory Perception
The sensory perception seems to be going to a whole new level. Now I did read it through but I’m unsure how to approach this. It is original and it stems from an actual term, correct? But I do wonder if his sensory skill has any weakness at all. If it doesn’t have one, I’d suggest rereading the writing and thinking about what, at least one, weakness could be.

Sorry, on this one I can’t really give a good feedback!

Dōjutsu
I’ve read all the dōjutsu sections thoroughly. And I believe you require updating the content of these, as some are quite outdated. Sharingan does not give you Kamui and belongs officially only to Obito, who, as you know, shares this ability with Kakashi (transplanted eye). Well, that was quite bullshit of me stating the obvious. But better said than not, no?

Mangekyō Sharingan
The awakening of the Mangekyō Sharingan is very briefly explained. I’d expand on that to give your eye more of a back story. Try to keep it close to Raido’s life and express it in such a way that the Mangekyō awakened the abilities that initiated the space-time based techniques. Try not to involve canon characters with him, unless you can find a way to make his escape from the world, whereas, the remaining Uchiha were just with 3.

Secondly, the Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan does not /improve/ the awakened mangekyō abilities. Once you gained the Eternal, the capabilities of the eye should be frozen. I’d only consider that the Susano’o could evolve in a way, as I believe is seen in the manga/anime.

Rinnegan
The awakening of the Rinnegan is legit in my eyes, and so, is approved to continue to wield it. However, I do advice to begin rereading the content and patch up any errors made. Perhaps, as aforementioned, explain his Rinnegan mastery in more paragraphs, instead of mashing it altogether. And keep the flows of the sentences going to make a pretty tale about his Rinnegan.

= Last bit of stuff = Mmmh, what else to add… Oh yeah. You really need to fix the sizes of the images, what you can with adding “|200px]] after the file image name. Do adjust it to keep a nice size for the page. I think for the gif you’ll need to ask someone to resize it for you, so that it will keep its animation. Anyway, I believe after the adjustments that I have suggested will improve Raido. Even the changes we talked about will be of an improvement. If you require any more help, message me here or on the chat.

I will not grade Raido, because I don’t like to grade an article. I am merely reviewing to see if I can be of any help for you. Good luck!