Board Thread:Specific Characters Qualification Exam/@comment-4080775-20141218230531/@comment-1875854-20141220190240


 * Appearance: 3
 * Personality: 0
 * History: 13
 * Abilities: 20
 * Grammar: 10, I didn't see any grammar problems that interfered with reading.
 * Questions: 150 points.
 * Total: 196, failure.

There isn't a personality section at all. The background is very short and doesn't really explain how she got the rest of the restricted content, except for her KG. Her appearance doesn't explain her tail or her past appearance. Or how she is revered as the master of disguise. Her abilities, while the Eight Gates and stuff seem nicely thought out don't really seem to go together. She's a mix between her mother and father and it doesn't really tie in them both.

Body Revival makes sense with Dead Muscle Pulse, seeing as how it can repair and replace muscles. But then, what is really the need of the medical senjutsu that repairs all cells when she can repair her muscles, skin and bones with her two KG.

Then what is the point of Rasengan for this character really or how would she get Eight Gates? Who did she learn from?

And then, the natural energy storing. How much can she store? Or does she just never turn to stone or become saturated with natural energy? How is her body like this? I understand that the Land of Plasma has high amounts of natural energy and this causes certain mutations but what exactly does this mutation detail? Like how can do it what it does without petrifying the users?

It seems better for it to allow easier use of natural energy as a whole and even perhaps Sage Mode acquiring more easy. To me at least, it would make more sense if she just possessed the two KGs and Eight Gates and perhaps Sage Mode. However this is up to you. And perhaps the Body Revival, which makes sense for her to have. Her having medical ninjutsu sorta makes sense but Kaguya have enhanced regening anyway, see Kimimaro how his skin and muscles restore themselves along with his bones when he creates things with Shik. Could tie in with the character, not really sure why she has a desire for it though, but then again, no personality section so yeah.

I don't really see the point of the Space-Time ninjutsu at all. Even if they're a part of her father's clan, why does her father's clan have it? What does that do with the Dead Muscle Pulse? Yeah they can go together but there doesn't really seem to be a point besides empowering the clan and then by extension Shiro herself.

And then, she's not nearly old enough to have mastered Eight Gates since it takes at least 20 to completely master but she's able to open all 8 (yes, with Body Revival it would be possible but it should still take longer to master, not one-fourth of the time).

And that's pretty much it besides the lack of content in anything comparing it to Eight Gates. And why is there so much science behind the Eight Gates, it's not really needed. You don't need to justify the power behind the Eight Gates with all that science.

Please don't refute the points in this judgement, I'm just telling you why it received the scores it did.

It's a good concept but it seems to need more work. Just in overall cohesiveness and explanation of the abilities.