Talk:Shinzo

Hunter-Nin: EmperorSigma
Because I'm a lazy guy, I'll just grade this kinda as if it were a SCQE, but I'll touch the parts of the page that could use editing. Cause ya know? Well I don't.

Appearance

 * I'm not going to lie. I know I suck at appearances, but I know you could do better. The way you described Shinzo's appearance, appeared as if you were trying to explain the man who robbed you at the local convenient store. I apologize if I sound rude, but Kano I know you can do better.


 * Tips: Number one, if you want to increase the quality of this section, talk about how he looked in his younger years, to teenage, then to adulthood. You can even talk about a special appearance he could've had while on the Kinkaku Force. Hell, you wanna be more stylish? Talk about how he appears when he's under Jūgo's Kekkei Genkai.

Personality

 * While this section wasn't exactly bad, it could use to reconstructing. Luckily, I'm here to save the day.


 * Tips: First things first, breaking down how your personality is. The paragraph you currently have, after fixing a few grammar blocks, can stay. It can stay and stand as an introduction as to how you're going to talk about his personality. You said he's shy to girls. If that's the case, write something explaining a time where he was well... Shy to a girl! Same with loyalty to the Raikage and Kei, tell us about a time he fought, or even put his life on the line for them. You also state in his introduction: "He can control his urges to kill." Tell us more about that.

Background

 * Section looked as if it were still under construction, I can't penalize you for that.

Abilities

 * To be honest, when I saw this section, I was disappointed. Not because you explained it poorly, but because you had the tools and guide to do this section perfectly. In addition to that, I offered to help you with him, but you rejected, so meh.


 * Tips: When I say "guide" I'm referring to his jutsu list. I'll excuse the fact that you copy the same jutsu from character to character. A feature pretty obvious to pick up, especially since you nearly want all to have the FTG. That's besides the point, if you want to fix this section you should refer each of your subsections to your jutsu. Let's take your Senjutsu section for example. In the section of senjutsu, you can literally have all of your Jūgo techniques in there, and any you created. Tell how he uses them. Hell, you can even tell us how he mixes them with other techniques as well. Do this for every section, and your life should come with ease.

Closing
That is all.

'''The Perverted Copy Wheel Eye of Justice 15:16, January 17, 2015 (UTC)