Thread:Kazeyo/@comment-24098412-20131027200328/@comment-1520269-20131027203219

Well...first of all Riku descriptions are both horribly short and uninformative. Furthermore, the content doesn't make a shred of sense. You claim the character is biologically related to both Sasuke and Naruto, which is pretty outrageous. Furthermore, you claim surviving the massacre by simply being away on a mission, as if Konoha and Itachi would make such a mistake. The issues continue as you claim to have killed B, which I'm assuming is Killer B. Though, somehow after all of this, he's going to marry Ino. Yeah...you should really reevaluate your character concept.

As for Sean, he's effectively a rehashed version of Riku. Once again most of the plot ideas don't make any sense, and should really be scrapped and reworked from scratch. Additionally, even though your second application is longer, it's still way to vague and short...even if we assumed the content was acceptable.

My suggestion is for you to distance yourself from the canon storyline and perhaps write a few characters that don't need applications. In this manner you can strengthen your storytelling and writing capabilities before attempting these applications again. Good luck, and have fun.