Talk:Timosi

Thoughts
He's looking good so far mate. There were a couple of spelling/grammar mistakes which which I fixed. Had a few points which you could consider. In the first line, if you change " although his level of power is incredibly higher than a ordinary Chūnin" to " although his level of power is considerably higher than that of an ordinary Chūnin" it might sound a little better. But not a necessary change as what you wrote is also grammatically sound. Secondly in the personality section instead of writing that he adopted an unique personality, I think it might make more sense if you write it as he developed an unique personality. Adopted gives the opinion that he did so of his own will whereas, if I am not mistaken, the personality he developed was due to the nature of his Kekkei Genkai and as such not by his own choice. Rest of the personality is good. You could maybe expand on the part where he hurt his sparring partner upon getting hurt by stating a bit more about him being or not being a short tempered fellow (depending on how you are portraying him). Ability-wise I find his manipulativeness to be a great plus as that characteristic will give you a lot to play with if you use him in any stories of yours. On the whole a good character mate. Cheers! -- Jet'ika (Talk  | Contribs ) 17:17, October 30, 2010 (UTC)