Board Thread:Naruto Fanon's Review Board!/@comment-25436862-20150529030808/@comment-3030647-20150530114732

Rightio, I'll do one character per comment (easier that way). So first up is Michi!

Introduction: Immediately, I can see the character's overall status and goal for existing. While I'd normally do the: Character Name (Kanji/Katakana, Romanisation), that isn't exactly necessary at this point. Short and sweet, nice.

Appearance: Honestly speaking, you've done quite well with this section. Despite the few typos, such as "form" instead of "from", you've done particularly well in describing Michi's clothing and facial expression, the former done extremely well. However, I would personally go with the route of describing everything. Even if you say if someone has "no distinguishing features", that means different things for different people, yeah? And, I mean, who doesn't want a picture of a character in their head without a character image?

Personality: While I'm not sure what you mean by organic...I'm assuming it has something to do with developing personalities over roleplays? Well, in any case, with the little you have summarized about him, you've managed to give a good sense of Michi's overall self and his actions. While I am of the type to heavily detail their personality sections, include goals, reasons, etc, everyone has their own style of writing.

Background: This...was quite the read, actually. The sudden shift from Michi's happy self to dark self, the role of his mother and Akira in his life, the realistic struggle he has into becoming happy again are all quite well done. Despite the few lapses of spelling and whatnot, this was an enjoyable read. Though, for a 12 year old boy, he's sure been through a lot...

Abilities: I like this guy. He has appropriate limitations for someone of his age and experience but does try to overcome them by sticking to his signature fighting style. I love his lack of direct offense in terms of nature transformations, it's something I haven't seen done around here very often. While I'd normally place the "Overall" above all the other sections and without a heading, formatting is up to you. Given that he is only a elite Genin-level Shinobi, I can't really blame you for lack of detail, as such, but I would recommend describing his elemental technique usage a tad more.

Overall: I must admit, Michi was a nice, refreshing read! An interesting background combined with well-written appearance, abilities and an automatically engaging character definitely puts this guy at a higher-end for review scoring. I'd give this guy a solid 4/5.

Improvements: Well, I have said that you can add more detail into certain sections but, given the nature of the character, I'm sure you'll add that through roleplaying. All I'll really say is make sure you keep an open mind when working with Michi, I think he could go in a lot of directions!

Akira coming soon!