Thread:Njalm2/@comment-10439484-20130605021650/@comment-3403804-20130611121005

First off, the story is WAY too simplistic and vague; do you even know how many Uchiha are liable to have some measure of Senju DNA? The Senju and the Uchiha were the first two clans of Konohagakure, there's likely been quite a bit of intermixing over the century or so since Konoha's forming. There ought to have been several children born with both genes, so how come they never received the Rinnegan? The explanation, as it is given in canon, has so many holes as being rendered pretty much unusable. Furthermore, the appearance of the Zetsu Clone is just.. pathetically convenient, this background feels forced and unremarkable on your part. Clearly written for the express purpose of getting your hands on the Rinnegan, nothing else.

As for the associated techniques. Most of them are clearly, in undue magnitude inspired by, or even outright ripped off from the Deva Path's own techniques. They're also extremely vague, and do not in any case try to explain how a technique actually works, that's bull. Explaining how these techniques works are actually DEMANDED of a Rinnegan Application. In no uncertain terms, and with a level of detail which does the piece justice, while I detect one or two original works there, they're fundamentally unimpressive and fairly bland, and they too lack proper documentation.

With all these things in mind, I formally decline your application for the Rinnegan. Good day!