Board Thread:Naruto Fanon's Review Board/@comment-26542537-20150629200940/@comment-25771248-20150629212142

I'll take this one...

Well, the pro, is that his abilities have already been set to match his ninja level and the laws of logic. Nice. However

He still needs a LOT of work. And the following might be a little harsh, so please don't think of me as condescending. (In Para's term: please don't flame me, you asked for it.)

Background:  Needs a LOT of work. A single line won't cut it. Where does he come from? What led to his existence? How did he grow? What set him apart from the basic clichés and Gary Stues? So, you still need to elucidate more on this area. I know it is one of the most difficult (and I personally advise you not to make his background incoherent by stuff like "little is known about his background", it lacks purpose. People whom had no background in canons were those who were extras, and you don't want your character to be like that, do you?) a background takes time and effort, but in due time, you will see that it will be one of the things that define your character. It might inspire you to give your characters a meaning & purpose, and not just some ninja who engages in battle RPs or a pastiche.

Personality: Pros: You have a general idea for your character, which is quite impressive. Con(s) (hehe): Like the background, you need to truly describe the character in questions. There are endless challenges that a character can face, and he will not be creative in all of them (like when his parents or friends die, perhaps?). You need to explain it in a way that allows us to grasp the full ideal of his personality. (eg. If we RP, and my character betrays him. How will he be? How will he react? If his peers belittle his nindo, how will he be? What is his true nindo?) From the current state, none of these questions can be answered, and you will merely be a guy in a story making things up as he goes and then adding them to that character. Proper description is key in articles, as it shows us what separates the character from the other wasted articles in this site. What defines Chuichi to be Chuichi.

Appearance : Yeah, I'm singing the same song here. You must thoroughly explain his appearance. (Example: Chuichi is blonde? No no no. You need to give us a mental picture without us actually seeing the picture of the young man. You must entail the ethnicity (is he black, white, green from mars?) and stuff like that.). Though, since you have just arrived here, it's a good start. :D

Abilities: As I said, thanks for showing his small power scale which matches his age and experience and does not stretch logic. That's a good start. However, you still need to be very thorough and coherent on his skillsets. What can he do? How did he learn it? Why did he learn it? How does he make it unique? Etc. Those are a few of many of the questions you need to answer as you write. And I also advise you to add subsections for your character.

Example:

Genjutsu
Etcetera.

In conclusion, he still needs a lot of work, but as a noob, it is a very good start. Keep it up. And maybe go higher :P.