User blog comment:Silver-Haired Seireitou/The End of Naruto/@comment-13970942-20141106205348

"...we have to remember that NF is a home of like-minded individuals. If anything else, we all share that common interest. After all, if we did not, we wouldn't be here."

I only ever joined this community out of a desire to change it. When I saw the world of Naruto, I saw a tapestry of untapped potential. I saw nations unwritten, heroes unsung, the promise of tales beyond the horizon of the known.

What appealed to me most of the original Naruto series was that it was a tale of growing up, of loss and pain, and of change, of conflict, but also of friendship. The cycle of history and future revolving and repeating, and the struggle against both in order to achieve an ideal world.

What I wanted to change in this place was something very basic to its nature- something underlying the assumptions of the users. There is a persistent sense of... what to call it... perhaps conceitedness? Self-centeredness certainly. A desire to be at the heart of things... to have power, to have attention and respect. This, I believe, arose from a desire to emulate the power and authority of an adult- to have agency in an imaginary world, that one lacks in his real life. I don't fault anyone for having this desire. It's a very natural one- but power is like a drug, fueling the ego, driving it into a fervent and ultimately self-destructive cycle of personal aggrandizement.

This nature poisoned many users' works, I think. They viewed their work not with the eyes of a parent, but rather of a person beholding himself in a mirror. A sense of pride, or perhaps of vanity, inflating a very subjective sense of worth in his character. And this self-insertion in turn would create a sense of hostility and aggression at any that might question the ineffable beauty and perfection of his "art". Any criticism or suggestion, or even an imaginary attack in a roleplay, would be treated as a personal or physical attack on his ego and self-worth.

This naturally led to a lack of discourse- of closed stories and characters. Rather than a community, when I came to this place I saw a series of isolated islands- creative minds united only in their solitude. Ideas are anti-fragile- discussion and conflict strengthen them, rather than the converse. Most of the content here was little more than shallow imitations of what existed in canon. A blue sharingan here, another angsty forsaken Uchiha there. The common Madara clone. No offense to most here, but NF had cultivated a very stinky reputation across much of the internet fanfiction scene, and I don't think it was undeserved in many cases.

I thought, and still believe, what the users truly desired rather than power, was a sense of acknowledgement. A sense of progress and growth. Recognition of their skills, but also of the value of their ideas. But so long as the isolation continued, this exchange of values could not occur. So I started with making blogs. That fell on deaf ears. A few nodded their heads, but I think simply lacked the drive to change. Nothing really started changing until the first chuunin exams were administered, with clearly defined limitations on actions. Suddenly everyone had an even playing field. Suddenly people's choices mattered- they didn't exist in a vacuum. People got their first taste of consequence. And people loved it. They savored the chance that, their characters might gain battle scars, or deliver a solid hit. That their characters could have real personal growth. But then I got revenge blocked for questioning Tentail's baseless authority over his lack of participation.

Users tried to hang on to what they had tasted- and they tied in their characters to a shared world. The fanon-canon was born. Largely unmediated, it still managed to achieve an untenable balance. But without a clear sense of direction- or of productive interaction- the entire thing ultimately collapsed as well- even with my last-minute injection of community in a second chunin exam.

The site regressed a bit, and I decided to throw in the towel here. I don't believe this site can change for the better, not in a concerted way. It's full of creative people certainly. But the attitude here- the culture of how things are done and why they are done- is hostile to the goal-oriented thinking of community projects or shared stories. This place has done things a certain way for a very long time, and I don't think it's inclined to change.

So.. yes I'd agree, NF is a home for like-minded individuals whose common interest is, by and large, themselves. I hope that everyone here finds the recognition and respect they yearn for in their own lives, rather than only their characters'.

I left this fanon, because I think my goals are fundamentally different from most others' here, but I don't think I'm done with the concept of communal text-based roleplaying. In about two months (January) I'll be pulling my efforts into a wikia based on my own values, and sense of organization and functionality. I'm not advertising (nor will I be), but I haven't given up on creating my ideal fictional world either. I'm still reaching for what lies beyond the horizon.