Naruto: The Abridged Series

Naruto: The Abridged Series is a condensed fandub of Naruto created by MasakoX and Vegeta3986. The two have made 22 episodes so far, covering up to the point where The Third dies. Vegeta3986 writes the series and MasakoX mixes the series. Currently, Vegeta 3986 and MasakoX use different accounts now. MasakoX is now MasakoXtreme and Vegeta3986 is now Vegeta8639

Main Characters

 * Naruto: Voiced by Vegeta3986, Naruto's voice is somewhat deeper compared to either the Japanese or American versions and closely resembles Vegeta's true voice. Naruto remains similar to his original counterpart, although his stupidity is increased, including his lack of recognizing sarcasm (For example in episode 13 when Sasuke tells Naruto that he had just missed the circus, inadvertently convincing him that the circus HAD come to town). He is constantly trying to increase his popularity, such as trying to match Sasuke's log with "The One Foot Tall Brick Wall", though it has an annoying habit of evolving into Konohamaru and his friends, and trying to match Gaara's "funk" with his own dance to Tiny Tim's "Living In The Sunlight," only to horrify everyone (except for Rock Lee).  It however proved useful to prevent Gaara from hurting Lee.


 * Despite being based on the American version, Naruto's catchphrase 'believe it' is rarely mentioned. When it is, it's usually derided. For example, Iruka promises to buy Naruto ramen if he never says his catchphrase again, and later on, Kankuro manages to best his opponent (Stretch Armstrong/Misumi Tsurugi) by restraining him with an "American Naruto Puppet" which proceeds to use the catchphrase over and over again.  Naruto at first objects to this, but after hearing himself say his catchphrase, is convinced that it is annoying.  Earlier in the series, Naruto's New Year resolution was to come up with a catchphrase that "didn't suck", and had come up with "hot stuff coming your way," to which Kakashi encourages him with a deadpan "Keep working on it, Naruto."  He later came up with "Bummer me, Horez." to which no one replied.


 * Clucky: Naruto's second answer to Sasuke's "Log" Was first shown in Naruto and Sasuke's Comment Special after Naruto typed "GO CHICKENS!" three times. Clucky, like the Log, has at least some prowess in battle, having defeated Orochimaru in the Forest of Death, and scared the living daylights out of Jiraiya. Clucky and The Log's rivalry was demonstrated during the Chunnin 3rd exam preliminaries when one of the battles was revealed to be 'The Log Vs. Clucky' (Which, to the dismay of everyone was revoked by Hayate).


 * Sasuke: Voiced by MasakoX. Sasuke is very different from his original counterpart. As a parodical reference to fan reaction, Sasuke is constantly referred to as the "emo kid" or described as "emo", which is only enforced by his favorite bands being Linkin Park, Dashboard Confessional, Simple Plan, and Fight Star.


 * His Abridged Series trademark is his rivalry with "The Log". This originated with Sasuke having a tendency to mistake people for logs (in reality a substitution jutsu), leading to his annoyance whenever "The Log" appeared, eventually becoming a full-fledged rivalry that rivaled (and at times eclipsed) his hatred of his brother Itachi (at one time, during a Comment Special, Sasuke forgot all about his brother and considered defeating "The Log" as his "whole reason for existence"). Despite this, Sasuke respects "The Log" as an enemy, retorting that "The Log" could defeat "The One Foot Tall Brick Wall" when Naruto attempted to introduce this as his answer to "The Log". Another "Log" joke was made after the bell test with Kakashi, in which he called Sasuke "log boy".


 * Although his hatred of Itachi remains in the series, his reason for wanting to kill him and his hatred for him are totally different. Sasuke now wishes to kill Itachi because he "stole the last Klondike bar" rather than the genocide of the Uchiha clan.


 * Sakura: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Her uselessness is played out extensively as she rarely seems to do anything useful, and at one point in the series outright tells Tazuna that she wishes to maintain her "uselessness streak". She is infamous in the Abridged Series because of this, even among characters who have seemed to not have heard of her before. Like her real counterpart, she likes Sasuke and has turned down Naruto, her reason being that she prefers emo boys who mistreat her. However, in Episode 3 she revealed that she secretly likes Naruto, and only pretends to like Sasuke, and throughout the series she has expressed more feelings for the former than the latter. Despite this development, however, she has still refused to go out with Naruto (for similar reasons given before).  In the second episode, she claimed to be an evil bitch only 99% of the time, whereas the 1% was utilized by being a leprechaun. Her voice is most likely based off of Miss Piggy from "The Muppet Show".


 * Kakashi: Voiced by MasakoX. His trademark for the Abridged Series is his love of a milk carton, which began in episode two where The Third Hokage wishes to end the episode with some comedy requesting Kakashi to pick up the milk carton. When Kakashi noticed that the carton had a picture of a cow on it, he chuckled and proceeded to make a "moo" noise. 'Heh heh, moo' has since become Kakashi's catchphrase, although the exact same words have rarely been used in the series (Much like Seto Kaiba's catchphrase 'Screw the rules, I have money!' in 'Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series'). In episode 11, it is revealed that inside the milk carton is "Make-Out Paradise: The Book on Tape Read by Arnold Schwarzenegger" in which a cow is heard mooing. Sasuke notes him to have an animal fetish, since his catchphrase appears to be a chuckle accompanied by a noise associated with an animal. He possesses chronic pinkeye which gives him super powers of copying. He is also fluent in Muffled (obviously a nod to the fact that like Zabuza, Kakashi's mouth is covered yet he speaks clearly).

Antagonists

 * Orochimaru: Voiced by Vegeta3986. In the Abridged Series, comparisons have been made between Orochimaru and Michael Jackson ( Kakashi sees him as "a creepy Michael Jackson look-alike"). He is an apparent pedophiliac. When he tells Sasuke that he needs him, and Sasuke asks if it's for his power, Orochimaru replies "Sure. Why not." He had also promised Zaku candy when he was little, which Zaku never got. Despite being a "master of disguise", people often see through his guises. During the elimination round, he is addressed as Orochimaru and no one is convinced that he is really "Steven Viper". During the finals when he is dressed as the Kazekage, the Third Hokage instantly recognizes him.  Later, Sarutobi tells Orochimaru it was because he was still wearing his "I am Naruto" T-Shirt he had stolen from a rain ninja earlier because "it has a charm to it". He dislikes it when Kakashi says "Heh heh, moo" and gets annoyed by Kabuto, calling him creepy.  In 'The Abridged Christmas Special', it is revealed that Orochimaru is Jewish, and once again his "Steven Viper" pseudonym is used. He was exiled from the Leaf Vilage for not giving Sarutobi licorice, and for an incident involving a "truckful of orphans". In the series, he has just killed Sarutobi.


 * Kabuto: Voiced by MasakoX. Kabuto is bullied by everybody. He is the only one who doesn't cause Gaara's trademark theme to occur when he says "Gaara of the Funk", which is pointed out by Kankuro in episode 13. Gaara simply explains that no one ever listens to Kabuto. In episode 16, he referenced the "Ninja Info Cards" internet meme based on his English Dub debut. His character is very similar to Bakura in Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series (which MasakoX and Vegeta3986 seem to idolize), as both are polite British characters who are often victimized by the other characters, and both say 'bugger' when annoyed. He apparently also likes to play James Bond as seen when he was doing that instead of helping Orochimaru take over Konoha, this also angered Guy because he wanted to do the James Bond LARP to which Kabuto responds "You snooze, you lose old man".


 * Zabuza: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Can't talk clearly because of his mouth covering, meaning all of his speeches come accompanied with subtitles. When the covering IS removed, his speech habits become identical to those of Jerry Lewis or Bill Cosby. He seems to like mimes, explaining his preference for having Haku as a partner. He does not appear to have a good knowledge of anime, wherein he casually asks Kakashi to revive him and Haku with the Dragonballs. When corrected, he is despondent. He was buried alive in the Land of Waves with Haku, despite the injuries he took. He and Haku later broke out, claiming he was asleep, and proceeded to ransack a Toys 'R' Us store attempting to get a Zabuza Sword, protesting that his own couldn't cut through rice paper. His theme song is "Can't Touch This" by M.C. Hammer.


 * Haku: Voiced by MasakoX. In the Abridged Series, Haku is female, as to mock the "Haku = Male/Female" controversy. Otherwise Haku is mostly not changed, if at all, although she/he appears to be a bit more happier as she/he acts quite childlike during her/his Demonic Ice Crystal Mirrors jutsu. which is especially noticeable when she/he transfers between her/his mirrors during her/his fight with Naruto and Sasuke. Due to Naruto's severe annoyance with the abundance of flashbacks, Haku was forced to show hers/his in 15 seconds, managing it quite well. Unlike the official series, Haku is still alive, and is currently traveling with Zabuza.


 * Mickey Mouse (Gato): Voiced by Vegeta3986. Head of the Disney Corporation, Mickey did not want Tazuna to build a bridge to Sea World, so he sent ninjas to kill him before it was completed. Originally, he sent the Demon Brothers, and then Zabuza. He was driven off by Haku's clever use of the 4Kids One Piece dub, but later came back with earplugs to prevent the same thing from happening twice. He would occasionally say that he needs his body parts for unconventional purposes, especially when wounded. Examples include:
 * "No! That's my embezzling hand!" (When Haku grabbed his hand to prevent him from touching Zabuza's face mask.)
 * "No! I need those organs for blackmailing!" (When Zabuza stabbed him with a kunai.)


 * Mickey was killed by Zabuza shortly before the swordsman "died," of wounds of his own.


 * Dosu: Voiced by Vegeta3986. In the Abridged Series, Dosu speaks in a strange high-pitched voice similar to that of Digimon Tamers' Guilmon or Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series' Serenity Wheeler . He was killed prior to the third stage of the exam by Gaara, when he approached the Sand Genin at night, asking for some sand because he needed kitty litter. He ended up receiving more than he expected. Later, when Naruto asks what happened to Dosu, he was told he was with Hayate, implying he really had been killed.


 * Zaku: Voiced by MasakoX. He fought against Sasuke to have his arms broken (implied by his screams of "No! It doesn't bend that way!"). He was defeated by Shino during a commercial, where he was peeved to find the said commercial during his fight. He joined Orochimaru when the former offered him candy, which he never got. He also doesn't seem to have voice definition.


 * Kin: Voiced by MasakoX. She fought against Shikamaru and lost because "she sucked as an anime character".


 * Baki: Voiced by MasakoX. Baki likes pink ponies. He seemed to be killed by Hayate, even though in the original, Hayate is killed by Baki. Even more confusing is that Hayate disappeared after that event. A Baki fan club mourned his death, crying out "No! Baki! How could you, Vegeta? I trusted you!"


 * Anime Flagger 123 (Yoroi Akado): Voiced by Vegeta3986. Yoroi, under the name of Anime Flagger 123, battles Sasuke during the Chunin Exam preliminary, introducing himself before the fight. When Sasuke demands to know why he spends his time flagging anime videos on YouTube, he responds "Because Anime sucks LOL LMAO ROFL COPTER!" saying the acronyms as real words. He then attacks Sasuke with his "Flagging Hand of Death", and then rants about how Sasuke needs to watch real shows, such as sports or American Idol. At this point Sasuke has had enough, and defeats Anime Flagger 123, screaming "Shut the hell up you fuzz bag!", an insult he had previously used on Sakura.


 * Anime Stretch Armstrong (Misumi Tsurugi): Voiced by Vegeta3986. He fought against Kankuro in the Chunin Exam preliminary only to be defeated by Kankuro's American Naruto Puppet.

Sand/Funk Siblings

 * Gaara: His title is now "Gaara Of The Funk", referring to his mastery of the Dance Dance Revolution arcade game, which usually ends with the death of his opponents, save for Rock Lee, who survived with only a broken arm and leg. Should his full name be said by anyone (bar Kabuto), a small jingle will play. Normally, this says "Gaara of the Funk," but in episode 22, it says "Naruto's a douche." A similar jingle to his name song plays when he performs the "Funk Coffin," (AKA the Sand Coffin) technique. Gaara is also extremely vengeful of others who insult "the funk", claiming to kill Naruto for not 'respecting' the funk and attempting to kill Lee for 'throwing off his funk' during their battle. During Gaara's fight with Sasuke, Star Wars X-wing pilot Jeff Porkins arrived to assist him, but was summarily and unceremoniously killed by Sasuke's newly learned Chidori. He made a guest appearance on YuYu Hakusho Abridged where he beat Koenma in Guitar Hero and told him to never go online again, "of the FUNK!".


 * Temari: Voiced by Vegeta3986. She sounds very much like a more flamboyant version of the Abridged Naruto. In the Abridged Series, a running joke is that Temari is Vegeta3986's girlfriend, much to the annoyance of MasakoX, leading him to do the same with Hinata. She apparently has been with Vegeta long enough to have a honeymoon. She seems to be an adept fighter, beating Tenten within a fraction of a second and tricking Shikamaru into giving up.  Like Gaara, she has "the funk", in her case, Guitar Hero.


 * Kankuro: Voiced by MasakoX. It seems that Kankuro despises cape-wearing people due to his Uncle Jimmy being killed in a freak cape accident. He was successful in defeating Misumi by utilizing an American Naruto Puppet. When it was time to battle for him and Shino, he gave up much to the chagrin of Genma/Gendo. He apparently, like his siblings, can use "the funk" but was defeated by Shino before this could be confirmed. Other characters dislike him because of his emotional outbursts, frequently telling him to shut up.

Team 8

 * Shino: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Shino has a more obvious liking for bugs. In episode 15, he defeated Zaku by placing bugs in his arms while there was a commercial, an act that everyone found extremely dishonorable, but he thought was allowed since they are ninjas.


 * Hinata: Voiced by MasakoX. Hinata is not that different from her TV series counterpart, but seems to going out with MasakoX. Apparently she feels that she needs her boobs for seducing, despite the fact she hides them with her "Eskimo coat", as Neji calls it. Unlike Neji, she pronounces the word "Byakugan" correctly.


 * Kiba: Voiced by MasakoX. Kiba emulates Neji by talking in a similar manner. The two seem to be friends as they talk about going on trips that are most "Excellent". Vegeta3986 decided to change the outcome of the fight between Naruto and Kiba so that Kiba would lose more honorably.

Team 10

 * Shikamaru: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Shikamaru is even lazier than usual in the Abridged Series, to the point where he falls asleep during both of his Chunin Exam fights. Temari tricks him into giving up during their fight, but the Third Hokage decides to promote him to Chunin anyway, most likely due to his senility.


 * Chouji: Voiced by MasakoX. Chouji has a somewhat jolly British accent. He was easily beaten by Dosu.


 * Ino: Voiced by MasakoX. Pretty much unchanged, except she holds a deeper grudge against Sakura, even to the point where she refuses to help her in the Forest of Death. She is described as "better than Sakura in every way." Their "fight," in the Chunin Exams was in reality just the two of them calling each other names for forty minutes, until Sarutobi declared that the fight was awful and both of them lost instantly.


 * Asuma: Voiced by Vegeta3986. He speaks with an over-exaggerated Southern drawl. He has only appeared in a few clips such as the 24 parody and the Konoha Invasion Arc where he yells "Gotcha!" and nails two Sound shinobi in the stomach.

Team Guy

 * Neji: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Perhaps the most changed character in the series, Neji speaks in an obnoxious manner akin to Bill & Ted, overusing words such as "sweet" and "totally" and references Bill & Ted even more by saying their style of "excellent" often with Kiba. He also mispronounces the word "Byakugan" as "Buy-ya-kew-gan". He apparently enjoys fighting girls, as he exclaims joy at Hinata being his opponent during the Chunin Exam, and then proceeds to "touch her most inappropriately," by copping a feel on her with blue energy. His ultimate attack also changes the world into the "Naruto: Ultimate Ninja" game, in which he uses his cinematic attacks from said game. He was defeated by Naruto during a flashback of Naruto saying how many times he was going to be Hokage.


 * Lee: Voiced by MasakoX. Lee is Canadian in the Abridged Series, and has made it his life's goal to destroy emo in all its forms, making Sasuke his prime enemy. He's also immune from Sasuke's Sharingan due to his diplomatic immunity. He is quite skilled at DDR, enough to nearly keep up with Gaara, though he still lost when Gaara crushed his arm and leg with his Funk Coffin.


 * Tenten: Voiced by MasakoX. Tenten has been given only one line so far before being cut off. She is usually cut off before she can say anything. During her battle with Temari, she is beaten in a flat second.

Other Konoha Ninja

 * Sarutobi: Voiced by Vegeta3986. The Third Hokage is suffering under senility, which seems to get worse with every episode. Anko finds him to be horrifying and mentally scarring. He apparently once got drunk during the previous Chunin Exams and decided to award Chunin status to all the participating Genin without making them do anything. He died in episode 22 after cutting off Orochimaru's "soul hands." He is now in the DBZ afterlife.


 * Iruka: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Unlike the canon Iruka, Abridged Iruka is blunt and seems to have some sort of frenemy relationship with Kakashi, going to the point where he once called Kakashi an "ugly mofo".


 * Ibiki: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Much angrier and louder than his original version. If someone disagrees with him, he tells them to leave the examination room. Disagreeing with him or asking stupid questions are grounds for expulsion from the test. He also seems to hate the pairing SasuNaru (SasukeXNaruto). He was friends with the Sand/Funk Siblings' Uncle Jimmy, and due to his inability to calculate the square footage of Jimmy's cape, Jimmy was killed.


 * Hayate: Voiced by MasakoX. His personality is very much like that in the original series, however, he coughing fits are much longer. He is constantly annoyed by the computer which was programmed by the Third Hokage. Also, whereas he was killed by Baki in the original series, it seems that Baki was killed by Hayate in the Abridged Series. Also, he and Dosu apparently went on a vacation to the Island of Shut the Hell Up. However, Hayate came back during the Konoha Invasion just to find the computer in cahoots with Orochimaru.


 * Genma: Voiced by MasakoX. Previously called Gendo, Genma has a Southern accent, and always carries around a napkin with the bracket for the Chunin Exam finals. It is implied that quitters are his biggest peeve. He also seems to hate computers.


 * Konohamaru: Voiced by MasakoX. Very similar to his original version, except that where canon Konohamaru respects and admires Naruto to the point of addressing him as an older brother, the Abridged Series version tends to think Naruto as somewhat pathetic and holds a grudge against him for having most of his screen time edited out.

Udon: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Nothing is known of him except that he is "Hayate's son".


 * Anko: Voiced by MasakoX. Much like Konohamaru, her personality is like her original version. She is introduced by Ibiki, with him saying, "Now, someone who is a lot sexier than me, Anko!" It is implied she and Kakashi are in a romantic relationship as when the Demon Brothers restrain Kakashi in their chains, he sighs, saying "Not now, Anko..." Her love of sweets is referenced by the fact the keyword she uses to start the second exam is "pudding".


 * Jiraiya: Voiced by Vegeta3986. Unlike the original series, Jiraiya's most notable aspect is his almost total lack of perversion, with the exception of a spontaneous exclamation of "Boobs!" a single time in the series. His personality is mostly the same as the actual series, though a bit more gruff and sarcastic. Apparently, he owns a Nintendo DS and plays Ninja Brain Training. His favorite hobby is rowing.

Other Characters

 * Tazuna: Voiced by MasakoX. In the series, Tazuna is a drunk, had to be told by Sakura that with 500 villagers they could easily dethrone Gato. He also thinks $35 is less than $20.


 * Gilligan (Inari): Voiced by Vegeta3986. A distant relative of Tazuna's in the Abridged Series. He is called "Gilligan" because his hat resembles that of Gilligan's from Gilligan's Island. He is rather wary of Mako Tsunami (Kaiza).


 * Mako Tsunami (Kaiza): Voiced by LittleKuriboh, the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series. He takes the characteristics of YGOTAS's Mako Tsunami. When Inari asks if Mako was going to lob a spear at him, he replies saying that "he had learned his lesson the last time". He was also betrayed by the ocean and he ran away because Mindy (Tsunami) was a horrible wife.


 * Shigure: A rain ninja who was killed by Gaara during the Chunin Exams because he was horrible at DDR. He had apparently donated a large amount of money to orphaned children from the rain village, and was going to be awarded the key to the city. Gaara learns this, causing him to now hate Vegeta.


 * The Rower: Voiced by Vegeta3986. He enjoys singing in a horribly off-key voice, which he does during his incredibly short screen time in the Zabuza Arc. Despite this, he has been featured many other times in the series. He appeared once while Kakashi was trapped in a water prison, keeping him "entertained" for two weeks (Kakashi stated that if he could, he'd gnaw his ears off). The Rower shows up during Naruto and Sasuke's comment special when someone asks "Let the Rower answer questions." He was one of the three ticked-off villains who stole Christmas in the Abridged Christmas Special. Finally, when Naruto's Sexy Jutsu failed to persuade Jiraiya, Naruto transformed into The Rower, causing Jiraiya to exclaim "Oh hellz yes!"


 * Gamabunta: Boss of all Toad Summons, a giant toad who has a summon contract with Naruto and Jiraiya. Extremely foul-mouthed and powerful, he has only made two appearances: His first appearance, where he swore at Naruto, then agreed to let him ride on his back, and again in the fight against Gaara, where he appeared for one second before yelling, "F*** NO!" and de-summoning himself.


 * Mr. Expendable (Yashamaru): Voiced by MasakoX. Oddly cheerful, Mr. Expendable first offers to be Gaara's best friend. When someone says that Gaara sucks, he instantly agrees and tries to kill Gaara. He later dies by exploding, but not before revealing that he is actually the Funk Siblings' uncle. Kankuro expresses his grief by screaming, "Uncle Expendable!"