Santa's Evil Reign

Prologue
One Really Bad Monday Morning, North Pole

Dasha’s feet echoed down black-tiled bare hallways as he made his way towards the big man’s office. The “President” had summoned him to a meeting, and he walked quickly and with certain purpose. He could not be late, he knew the fate of those who were: they were turned into stocking-stuffers and hung above the fireplace.

Passing by a few, smooth glass windows, he could see outside into the frigid wasteland that surrounded the stronghold. The main office was on the top floor, of course, with all the rich trappings of an expensive penthouse. Well, an expensive penthouse fitted with cheesy red and green lights with literal holly decking the halls. It would have resembled an upscale club, except for the fact that all the women were not-so-scantily clad in thick fur coats. You could only really see there eyes, and as a result Dasha really did not see the point in keeping them around at all. But an evil overlord had to have his harem. He shook his head sadly.

Marching up to the ornate double doors, Dasha stretched as he prepared to knock. The doors were made of mahogany, with Christmas trees carved into their dark surfaces. But Dasha wasn’t concerned about the doors, but rather what was behind them.

Clearing his throat and straightening up, Dasha knocked firmly to the rap of “Jingle Bells,” causing the massive muscles in his arm to ripple conspicuously, before calling out in a loud voice:

“You wanted to see me sir?”

There was a gale of wind that slammed the doors wide open, nearly ripping them from their hinges. A bellow of unintelligible words followed, and Dasha assumed it was the President calling him out on only “just” arriving on time.

He was five minutes early.

“You may enter,” the big-man said after he had calmed down. Dasha did as he had been told and closed the doors behind him, although he knew it was probably suicide to do so. Santa was frowning rather heavily at him as he rocked back and forth threateningly from a gigantic rocking chair. There was no one else in the room.

Like the rest of the fortress, the main office was built to withstand damage. That being said, there was no reason why it couldn’t be full of luxury. A thick white carpet made from a polar bear fur lay across the floor, a huge desk with a huge plate of cookies resting on top was in the center of the room, and on one wall an immense fireplace roared. Next to the immense fireplace was an even more immense tree, and on the mantle where the aforementioned carcass bags filled with those who had defied his will.

Nay, their will.

For although all trembled before their leader, they were devoted to him, and followed him unquestionably. Thus as his employer smiled a sinister smile and chuckled a sinister chuckle, Dasha also smiled a sinister smile, and chuckled a sinister chuckle.

“One of the Elves is missing.” dropping all pretense of joviality, the big man in red snapped sharply.

“Ah yes, Buddy I believe.”

“You mean to tell me you knew about this?”

“Well sir, we had already sent out a search party and had hoped they would return with the traitor before you noticed.”

Rather than explode in a fit of anger, as Dasha had been expecting, the President leaned back in his huge rocking chair as he chewed on a candy cane.

“I actually wanted to see you about Code: Rudolph the Red-nose.”

“Code: everything is moving according to schedule, sir.”

“When will it be ready to launch?”

“In about five minutes sir, I should hope.” Dasha answered.

“I’ll use that time to check Facebook.” Santa said, “I need to update my “‘Twas the Night Before Doom’ page.”

“Very well sir, I will notify you when we receive the all-clear.” Dasha acted as though he would turn to leave, but he knew the President would have more to say to him, he could literally sense it in the atmosphere between them. What was it, did he need more hot chocolate?

“Dasha,” Santa said firmly, “ I will be the one to push the button, is that understood?”

“Yes sir, you will push the button.”

“Good,” the President rubbed his hands together as a smirk of indescribable glee crossed his face, and he began to mutter praises about his own evil scheme. “You are dismissed.” he said after realizing Dasha was still standing there. With a short bow the Reindeer-horned subordinate literally flew from the room. Sweat poured from his temples as he rushed back towards the launch pad.

There were only two minutes left, and he was on a tight schedule. They had a world to destroy, after all, and he had a million things to prepare. All that on only one cup of coffee.

Prologue 2
Five minutes later, as the evil organization from the North Pole had so carefully plotted, the world exploded.

Well, not literally.

The sky cracked open as a line of northern lights emanated from a singular point above the top of the world. It stretched all the way around the globe, like a get-fit waist band tightening on a bulging belly.

Meanwhile, all the Shinobi from their respective Shinobi homes would have noticed the strange lights dance across the sky, and from there a freezing blast of wind. Then, those closest to the line were overwhelmed with a blizzard of snow and ice that quickly buried them in an avalanche of eternal winter. From a tiny northern village screams could be heard as herds of eskimo sprinted from their homes. It was so cold that icicles shot into the sides of their houses and ripped them apart. So cold that the ground split open like a chapped lip. So cold that your boogers literally froze in your nose, and it felt like your brain and balls were frozen too. That was why the people were booking it. Men, women, young and old, everyone was fleeing for the safety of their warm boogers and balls.

The snow line was spreading, and spreading fast.

Prologue 3
It was a dark and stormy night when a lone figure appeared before the watchman on the international border check station. Of course, it wasn’t really a dark or stormy night, it was a sunny yet typically horrible Monday morning. In fact only about a half hour had passed since Santa had unleashed utter terror upon the earth.

“Hey, Jou, what’s that?” one of the guards in the station asked as he motioned towards the haggard and stumbling stranger.

“Looks like one of those Christmas elves to me,” Jou responded as he sipped from his cup of Joe.

“You think he’s gonna make it?” the other man asked. The elf seemed to be struggling against the weight of his own body. Each step was pure torture as he neared the check station.

“Hmm, maybe we should cheer him on.” Jou suggested.

“Good idea.” The guards cupped their hands around their mouths and yelled encouraging phrases at the traveler:

“I would say break a leg, but it looks like you already did!”

“Where’s your sleigh, dingle bells?”

The two Shinobi busted up and guffawed loudly.

Buddy the Elf had ran until his legs could carry him no further. Exhausted, drained by the effort of crossing an entire continent and the constant peril of skirting death, he had at last reached the border of the Land of Fire. Seeing the guards cheer-- or jeer-- him on seemed to give him a second wind, and he just barely managed to drag himself to the doorstep of the station before he collapsed entirely.

“Nnnnnhhh,” he groaned.

“Jou, I think he’s giving us some cryptic code with his dying breath!”

“Let me write this down,”

“Not…. dying…” the elf managed to pant, “I need…”

His voice shriveled up and he could no longer continue.

“Hey Jou, this guy seems dehydrated, hand me your Joe there.” The other guard handed over his coffee mug, and the man promptly poured it down Buddy’s throat.

After nearly having his insides scalded by the hot liquid he seemed to be revived, and was able to deliver his message:

“Take me to Konoha, it’s a matter of extreme urgency.” he said.

“How urgent is ‘urgent?’” Jou asked.

“Very urgent. I must speak to the Hokage immediately.”

“Sure, no problem buddy. But first I’ll need to see your passport.”

The Conference
Three days later...

The time had come. Buddy the Elf had delivered his message to the Hokage, who had promptly called an International Shinobi Union meeting to order. They would meet in a town some distance outside Konoha, near the coast in a very sizeable conference center. This was to avoid political discomfort, of course. Eggnog and cookies would also be provided, mainly due to Buddy’s urging, in order to entice Shinobi from all lands to come.

The conference center was your typical, boring conference center. It was a flat, square building with a modular style, weird polygon arches and a slanted roof completing the illusion that it had been built in the ‘60’s, even though it was quite new. The place was huge, especially the main meeting room which was essentially a circular, enclosed amphitheatre in the center of the complex. There was also a fountain with a naked goldfish outside the main entrance, and white smooth steps that led up to the front doors. However, as no one cares about minor details like naked goldfish, the purpose of the statue was entirely unknown.

Inside the meeting room waited several prominent Shinobi from Konoha and elsewhere. Seated in between them was Buddy the Elf, a half-sad, half-bored expression on his pale face. The meeting would begin as soon as everyone else arrived, as had been specified in the invitation:

"You are cordially invited to Konoha’s Christmas Party! Wear an ugly sweater and bring a gift to share. (Also we will be talking about the destruction of the world and end of life as we know it, so please come if you value the future prosperity of mankind)."

The message had seemed subtle enough, and now they could only wait and hope that the other Shinobi would show. They needed an army after all, but one could not be raised without support.

Introductions
There were the voices of many creating various different conversations within the meeting room. Everyone spoke individually about their views on the potential reasoning for such a meeting. The five great nations and people outside of them all voiced their opinions within a single building. Among these many people was none other than the man who led the village of himself; Seigetsu Uchiha — the.

Seigetsu held his chin on the back of his hands with his elbows sitting firmly on the desk as support. His dark eyepatch hit the scar given to him by the magician those years ago. His full face bearing home to stubble of a beard left behind represented the stressful and sleepless nights he endured. Standing behind him stood Izuru Uchiha, his eldest daughter. Right beside her was Shikaniku Nara, Seigetsu's right hand man. To end off their squad was none other than the almight Rock Lee. Seigetsu's three men stood quiet a they knew the situation at hand, but the room began to get entirely out of hand.

Tapping into the desk with just his index finger, he sent a powerful yet stable shockwave throughout the entire room. As he did Izuru and Rock Lee both began to drench sweat. "Order." He said to the attendees.

Ordinarily, it was not the place of the bodyguard to speak his tongue unless specifically told to do so, however Shikaniku was more than a protector of the Hokage. When Seigetsu made decisions, it was often the Nara encouraging him to do exactly so whether they were on what to eat, who to send on a particular mission, or if they were as large as going to war with another land. For some, they believed that he was a puppet, one being manipulated, but Seigetsu himself was a smart man himself. It was why Shikaniku devoted himself to being his advisor, protector, guardian, and his friend. When the hokage released a fraction of his power, Shikaniku couldn't help but smirk.

"I would advise you all to listen to the information that is about to come from Lord Hokage's lips. It's more important than any of your individual conversations. That, I promise." Shikaniku's tone was firm, but almost playful as if he was purposely mocking everyone that had attended the meeting. Was he? Or did he have some sort of plan? He was as mysterious as he was smart.

"So you guys mind telling us why you called us here?" the poison book spoke as he reclined in a chair. He had travel all the way from Suna to some sort of christmas party and found a meeting between thousands of shinobi. From his view it was quite suspicious, either Konoha was plotting something or something far worse had happened. Far behind him in the corner of the room stood a lone shinobi in a large hooded black cloak. He was observing the meeting intently from afar.

The representative of Takigakure leaned back in his padded chair, his long fingers clasped together reminiscent of prayer, fiddling with his thumbs. It was unusual for one of his moderate rank to carry the attendance of an entire village at such a conference, but he was a man the Waterfall trusted. Kenta's eyes scanned the room, silently eyeing his opposite numbers, from the Hokage, to his bodyguard, to the young man who had just bellowed his opinion. Exhaling audibly, he stiffened up, his thoughts swirling around that bizarre invitation. "Just another day at the office," he told himself. "Or not." He corrected, picking up the differing expressions of the inhabitants of this chamber.

From the corner of the conference center, a cloaked figure slumped against the wall, the bangs of her crimson hair just peaking out past the hood of the cloak. She had been at the Konoha memorial wall when the strange lights stretched over the night sky, casting their beautiful yet somehow ominous glow over the black marble. Word had reached her of the meeting not a single day ago, while she was preparing to set out of the village once again. Though Akemi had little interest in foolish Christmas parties and socializing with ninja of the various lands, the significance of the matter at hand was too important for Akemi to be left out of the occasion. The konoichi did her best to remain separate from the other guests, not wanting to garner attention form others. Unfortunately she had noticed many other ninja glancing her way, curious about the stranger in the corner. Her attempt at going unoticed had ironically made her more noticeable among the crowd. The call of attention by the Hokage's assistant came as a massive relief for Akemi, as all eyes were now focused away from her. Hopefully the conference wouldn't last very long. Akemi almost felt ill as her nostrils were bombarded with smells of eggnog, cinnamon and other sweets. The only word Akemi could think of to describe the flurry of scents was the same word she used to describe her feelings towards Christmas itself, unpleasant.

Debriefing
The Hokage did not address the complaints of the meeting’s newcomers directly. Instead, a thin, haggard man with a pale, dead-pan expression that was so solemn it could freeze pickled herring stepped into the circle of light around the gigantic round table. He cleared his throat as if he were about to deliver the debriefing himself, but was interrupted by one of the Shinobi who protested loudly:

“Who the hell let the stiff walk in?”

The speaker ignored the interjection, but the aura around him became so icy that the entire room seemed to simultaneously shift uncomfortably.

“Salutations,” he began, “I hope you have all partaken of enough eggnog, as what I am about to tell you may be hard to hear without the fortification afforded by strong alcohol,” the speaker paused for dramatic effect before he said:

“The world as you may know it is going to end in approximately twenty-five days.”

There was a murmur of discontent among those who were actually paying attention. “Now, instead of boring you all with egregiously lengthy exposition, I have written a handout detailing when and how this inconvenient termination will occur. If you turn your attention to the wall over there, I have also prepared a Powerpoint on the subject.” he paused to hand the Shinobi next to him the stack of meeting handouts. He then quickly and expertly flipped through the slides on the screen as he explained the situation:

“As you can see from this advanced satellite image, a line of freezing cold wind and snow has completely encircled the earth. The blizzard has already buried a few insignificant villages in the north and is spreading rapidly. If something is not done, the world will soon become completely iced-over.” His voice echoed like an ominous weatherman in the meeting room. “This effect, however, is not the result of natural causes. Rather it was prompted by human interference, specifically a cold-fusion.. er, magical warhead that altered the rotation of the Coriolis force in the wake of the initial explosion.”

“Question,” someone raised their hand, their tone skeptical, “How exactly do you know all of this, and why are we supposed to believe you.”

“Ah, of course where are my manners... it seems I have forgotten to introduce myself.” The corpse-like man straightened his shoulders, which only made him seem more corpse-like, and cleared his throat. “My name is Buddy the Elf. I formerly served in the army of the mastermind behind all this chaos,” he gestured towards the screen, which had a rather large picture of a skull and crossbones superimposed over a blurry, indistinguishable satellite image, “But after personally bearing witness to that man’s growing lunacy, my conscience was seized to warn the world of this evil, and to that end perhaps escape obliteration. That man’s name is...” his voice became steel, filled with bitter sadness, hatred, and fear, “Santa Claus.”

He was met be a wall of blank stares.

“I have just recently escaped—miraculously, might I add—from the North Pole, where Lord Santa has built a fortress and thus established the seat of his evil reign. I can assure you that with his current forces he stands undefeatable. However, there is a way to stop the snowline from continuing to spread.” Buddy clicked to the next slide, which had a picture of an elaborate, nuclear-looking mechanism mounted on what appeared to be a giant missile. “This other-worldly contraption here is referred to as Rudolph the Red, and is a high-powered ballistic that, if detonated above the North Pole, should not only halt, but reverse the effects of the snowline by drawing the effect back into itself via a process that has been termed a ‘scientific hickey.’ The problem, however, is that Rudolph the Red is maintained by Santa’s forces at the North Pole, and is currently inaccessible. Our most logical recourse is thus to invade and steal the missile in order to use his own weapon against him, in a matter of speaking.” Buddy paused as he gauged the expressions of those at the table, “The mission will be called Operation: Partridge in a Pear Tree, and while the basic logistics have been laid out, we must establish a more clearly defined plan of action. In other words, we need ideas.”

In the midst of the silence, Shikaniku spoke. "It is the nature of the shinobi to see through deception. Throughout history, we have witnessed our own forced destroyed internally by sleeper agents, and spies. People that we thought were our comrades had turned out to be our enemies." His eyes pierced into the elf's own. "Thus, I think you can only expect us to be hesitant of your information. Even if the missile is an actual weapon, which in itself is doubtful, why would we willingly march into enemy territory when you clearly defined that his forces are unbeatable?"

"Well, I see this is just a boring fest. At least I'll get what I need, my donut and snicker doodle, a certain someone owes me that much. I forgot to introduce myself, I am Kumo Aburame." -the man speaks, who wears a pancho and has a gourd on his back, who walks over to the table and grabs a donut and a snicker doodle- "So, what do you losers have to say?"

Buddy ignored the donut-snatching Aburame and coolly turned his attention towards Shikaniku, “I am well aware of the fact that the proposition may seem like a trap, however I never said that the intention was to defeat Lord Santa, nay that is hoping for far too much I fear. It is the snowline that can be stopped, and as detailed in your handout, you will see why doing so is vital. I am sure everyone here is aware of the significance of the threat it poses: if all resources are frozen over across the surface of the planet, we will be forced to turn to Lord Santa for our most basic needs. He will gain unlimited political power and unimaginable wealth. We do not have time for sophistry, we must act as quickly as possible.” Throughout his entire monologue, Buddy’s expression had not changed. There was not a twitch of emotion, and he barely even blinked. “Logically, it is not possible for me to defend my own reputation. But rather you believe me or not events have now been set into motion that our beyond our control. The world is drawing to a close, and I am simply a prophet before the end.” He said portentously and loquaciously.

Kenta frowned at this latest development, before pushing his chair backwards and leaning forward, placing his palms on the table. "So what you're telling us is that the big old man who usually pops gifts down the chimney, has decided that we've all been bad children," Despite the gravity of the situation and his own doubts over legitimacy of the matter as pointed out by the Hokage's bodyguard, he let out a small chuckle, "Give us more details on his military manpower then, since it seems someone's gonna have to get their hands dirty either way here." Kenta said, his unbelieving smile still etched upon his face, his sharp gaze landing on Buddy the Elf.

“I am unaware of the exact amount, but the number of his armed, human forces is close to 80,000, perhaps even 90,000. Most of these soldiers were recruited—or perhaps more accurately, captured and brainwashed—from pocket dimensions in the space-time continuum, we assume from hapless individuals who tripped into wormholes, similar to what befell Lord Santa himself. These are trained warriors from many different eras and realms, and I would not underestimate their capabilities in battle. In addition he has eight god-like beings who transcend physical limitation and whose level is so great it would seem a paradox, as well as a special force of which I myself was not privy to.” Buddy said in the same, monotone voice that he had so far conveyed all information in, but the meeting attendees still seemed unconvinced.

Shigai stared on as he took in the information, it didn't sound like the craziest thing in the world but it was still pretty damn crazy. "So Basically we are diving headfirst into frosty land of death hoping to retrieve a musical bomb that can save us. I see several things that are seriously wrong with that." He spoke dryly as he stood and stretched before lazily sitting back down and placing his feet on the table. Just then a figure appeared on the desk. It appeared to be that man from the back of the room.

The man spoke up as he stepped of the table and addressed everyone. "Hello there, my name is Hougou and I think we can all say that this plan is crazy however I believe there is some truth to this." He spoke as he walked up to buddy and reached out his hand. A tendril then shot from his body and pierced the elves's skin and traveling into his body. Hougou stayed silent for a little before finally removing his tendril. As he looked around the room he held up the tentacle covered in green blood. "This is not the blood of a creature of our realm, those of our realm are blue and red, they resonate with the oxygen in the air while this does not. We are dealing with a magical creature here and from my search of his body cavity I can assume that he is one. His body contains various organs ours do not posses and that I do not understand, however one thing I can tell is that this creature thrives in the cold and is weak in the heat. Why would a magical creature like this risk its very life to come here and tell us this elaborate story?" He spoke to the room. "I for one believe him and I think it would be beneficial to us all to consider that his story could be all too real." He finished as he looked around the room.

Blood spurted from Buddy’s sudden stab wound, and he turned his wooden gaze to stare at the small fountain of green liquid coming from his gut.

“Actually, my physiology is quite similar to that of a human’s... I think you punctured an ... artery.” Although it might have seemed impossible, Buddy’s face turned even more pale and without warning he dropped on top of the table, his eyes dimming before his body slid off onto the floor. A pool of green blood surrounded him, and it seemed as though he were rapidly slipping from consciousness.

“Shit!” Someone shouted, “There goes our only information!”

Kenta's oblivious smile melted away as he resumed his cool, unrevealing demeanour. Upon seeing the elf collapse, he breathed a sigh. "It's quite alright, Buddy-san. Hougou-sama has been alive longer than most in this room, so he has quite a bit of medical knowledge in his hands. Plus, you don't seem to have lost too much blood. He'll have you stitched up good as new." He said, rather matter of factly, referring to his mentor's prowess with the ancient Kinjutsu of Takigakure. He relaxed back into the chair, letting the elf's words resonate through his thoughts. "Eight God like beings that transcend physical limitation? What the shit did I get myself into?" He mused, rubbing his temples. "Three cheers to saving the world, Kenta..." He muttered to himself in a low tone, to prevent the others from catching on to his realistic pessimism. A mild stench of foul wind suddenly latched itself onto the young man's nose, forcing him to cringe, and pinch his nose to prevent any further discomfort. Immediately Kenta's eyes shifted across to the donut consuming Aburame, suspecting the fellow of passing this most obnoxious fume; but then his attention darted to the elf, who probably was farting his innards out of fear of death.

"That is true." the man spoke as he lifted the elf up and began sewing him back up. "Sorry about this, I was so caught up in my speech I forgot that other bleed." He spoke to the elf as he finished the stitching and set him back on his feet.

"This is a waste of everyone's time." Akemi shouted from her corner, her voice echoing in the large conference hall. Akemi kept her hood down as she began walking closer to the center of the room. The stares made her feel rather uncomfortable, but her steely gaze was unfazed, showing no signs of weakness. "You all choose to question and punish the poor creature while not one of you have even attempted to gain any proof of his claims, wasting time. I'll put your doubts to rest here and how." Akemi made her way in front of where the recently repaired elf was being sat up, his head handing limp to one side. "I posses the ability to summon a variety of birds. One of the species I am able to summon is a rare winter dove, a being that resides in the far north and turns white in the winter."

Akemi bit doen on her thumb with her canine, braking the skin and drawing blood. Rapidly slamming her hands together in a short string of hand seals, Akemi slammed her hand on the ground, producing a puff of white smoke that engulfed her entire body. Those around Akemi anxiously waited to see what the cloaked girl had done. When the smoke cleared, laying on the ground in front of Akemi were several small doves, each one laying on their side like toppled statues, frozen solid. Akemi stepped back to better allow those around her to see the frozen doves.

"These doves grow a thicker set of feathers in the fall." Akemi explained. "This allows them to withstand the hard winters of the north. Their summer feathers are only meant for temperatures above freezing. As you can see, these doves I have summoned from the north are frozen solid." There was a wave of murmurs that ran through the consul hall, all in attendance discussing what the girl had just showed them. Having made her case, Akemi made an abrupt turn towards the Hokage and made a formal bow. "Lord Hokage, as a jōnin of Konohagakure, I vow I will do everything in my power to ensure the plan of this 'Lord Santa' is stopped before harm is done to our village." With that, Akemi turned towards the front doors and began walking at a brisk pace towards the exit.

Shikaniku had taken in all the information available, but it was ultimately his fellow konoha-nin that proved to existence of the threat. Whether this creature was lying or not mattered very little, because the threat was very real. "Akemi, wait..." Shikaniku called his comrade back towards the discussion area. "If we're going to do this, then we need a plan." He glanced around the room, taking their silence as an indication to continue. "And it needs to be a good plan. Preparation is half the battle, the other fifty percent is execution." He gave buddy a pointed look. "Tell us more about the defenses of Santa. We need to know what we're going up against if we're going to plan effectively. It's better to plan our strategy accordingly to the things we're going to face." Shikaniku paused for a moment. "Though, I think we can determine he will have added some things since your departure. Unless...." His tone grew more curious. "Do they know of your betrayal, buddy?"

“Naturally they know I am missing,” the elf stated, “I was only able to break free during the relatively high activity surrounding the initiation of the snowline. I assume they have fortified the barriers and tightened security since I left, as I am the first elf to have ever escaped the fortress.”

Shikaniku threw his hands up in frustration. "Of course. Why wouldn't you be the first one to ever escape," he exclaimed sarcastically.

Random Attack
“And you will be the last one to escape.” Someone interrupted with a quintessential evil chuckle. Two suspiciously hooded figures stepped towards the table, moving like a pair of conspicuous vultures amongst the crowd. It was as if they were dark mages who had been invited to a party of shinobi, and they stuck out like sore thumbs. From the candy cane comlinks they carried it was obvious that they were spies.

“What? How did ...who let them enter!?” someone shouted. But before anyone could react one of the evil magey agents leaped up on the table and raised his arm high above his head before throwing his head back in evil laughter.

“Your plans to stop us end here! We are undefeatable!” He then threw down the candy-cane and it exploded in a cloud of pink, peppermint dust.

In the next instant there was an ear-splitting crash as someone shattered the dome in the ceiling high above the meeting table. Glass flew everywhere, someone screamed, and most were still blinded and coughing from the peppermint bomb. From the skylight descended two powerful-looking humanoid type figures. If one could make out there silhouettes in the pink cloud, they would have seen that they were men dressed in furry pajamas and wearing reindeer antlers. A barrage of shuriken strafed the meeting room as though a flock of shitting seagulls had just passed overhead. For a moment there was nothing but utter chaos.

When the smoke finally cleared and the screams had stopped, the remains of the warzone were clearly visible. Pools of blood were splattered on the walls and floor, the table had been overturned and sliced in half, the Powerpoint screen slashed with a particular malice, and, worst of all, the cookies consumed.

“What the hell just happened?” Someone dared to ask the obvious.

“Wait a minute... Buddy is missing!”

And it was true. They searched all over for the dispirited elf, but to no avail.

“Shit, they’ve claimed him as a hostage!” the same random ninja who had been making all the random comments up to that point exclaimed.

There was, however, a note left attached to the empty cookie plate, scrawled threateningly in green blood. The only thing it said was:

“We’re making a list, and checking it twice.”

While those in the room pondered over the enigmatic message, a guard from outside sprinted into the room.

“The Hokage’s daughter!” he panted, “She’s been taken captive!” He handed the ransom note over, and it was eerily similar to the one left for Buddy:

“We will find out who’s naughty and nice.”

There was a moment of stunned silence as the survivors contemplated the attack.

“Now what?” the random shinobi asked.

Having been near the elf during the attack, Shikaniku was the closest to the concentration of peppermint bombs that were used on the crowd, and his body knew it. His eyes watered, attempting to flushing the corrosive chemicals out of them, and he coughed as his body rejected the pepperiment. "Too. Fucking. Fresh." Shikaniku complained, finding himself to his feet. Wiping his eyes, he looked back at the others standing around. "What the fuck are you guys doing?" He pointed to the broken skylight above. "Hurry up and go after th—" a cough interrupted his sentence, "—em. We're ninja. We do the same exact thing! Now hurry, they couldn't have gotten far."

"Son of a BITCH!" Hougou shouted as his eyes were filled with pepperminty goodness. "My eyes fell like my mouth if I just popped mints like pills." He screamed. Like Shikaniku he had been extremely close to Buddy and taken the brunt of the peppermint death cloud. While he was stumbling around Shigai who had been far enough from the blast to evade it looked at the two ninja standing on a table in front of him. Without a word he sent two snakes out to poison them.

Akemi stud at the main door, her hand still on the oversize handle when the peppermint smoke filled the massive room. Being as far as she was, she barely felt the effects of the attack. She watched as everyone's focus shifted from the chaos and wounded to the absolutely ridiculous looking ninja. In mere moments one of the other shinobi present was already on the attack, sending what appeared to be two snakes their way. Shaking her head, Akemi turned away from the scene and opened the front door of the council hall.

"This is why I hate Christmas parties." Akemi muttered to herself as she exited the counsel hall, not even shutting the door behind her as she left.

Within a flash, the usually composed Kenta had burst into action as the action had started. While rather far away, the peppermint still stung him in the eyes, drawing a curse as he emerged next to one of the assailants. "We'd all excuse the fashion fiasco, but breaking in, blasting us and tossing peppermint in our eyes?" With a swift movement, he ducked low, evading a punch the hooded man threw, shifting his body just enough to provide sufficient force to knock the hooded figure over with a well timed low snap kick to the back of the shin; leaving the other one to fend against the incoming snakes. As the hooded figure toppled over onto the debris and shards of glass on the floor, Kenta sprang on him, resembling a badly produced hentai scene, his knee crushing the hooded creature's groin as he rammed two kunai from under his sleeves into the hooded being's shoulders. He drove his hands to the neck of this fiend, wrapping his fingers around its' throat and slamming its head back and forth on the floor, until it relented and stopped struggling. "There, now we can get some information!" He said, a cheery tone, but an emotionless visage.