Thread:Kazeyo/@comment-24164311-20131122221620/@comment-1520269-20131126212425

It's still not passable, plus I think you made it less realistic. Additionally, I've been trying to give you pointers to improve the application, but I can't be the one to write it. The story you craft around your character has to be uniquely yours. It's my opinion that you should drop this character for the time being, perhaps even take a break and start from scratch at a later date. Despite that, I applaud your tenacity thus far, and I hope to see more of your work in the future.