User blog:Prodigy X/Announcement and Concerns

I am sure this went largely unnoticed by the community, but I have, yet again, been absent from editing for about the past week or so. I would like to take the time adress to you, the community, as to why this is the case.

Announcement
As few may recall, I was rather excited about finally being done with school and out for the summer last Wednesday the 14th. Well, as I waited for my mother and sister to come pick me up, I noticed that my sister had my mother's cell phone, something that my mother holds on to while my sister comes and gets me. When I asked why she had the cell phone, I had been informed that, only an hour earlier, that my grandmother had a massive heart attack in the bathtub and had died.

I can assure anyone who reads this that it is no joke, as I though it was. The suddeness of her death came not only as a surprise to me, but nearly everyone who knew her. As such, I have not been on the internet and most likely will not be for quite some time again, at least until I can figure out what my family and I can do to get past this situation.

Concerns
The suddeness of my grandmother's death, as well as the finity of it, has made me question many things, the main one being whether or not I am actually a part of the wiki community. Recently, users whom I have thought to be my friends have been "too busy" or have "been in a bad mood", not having any time to collaborate or even strike up conversation with me. Maybe they truly have been too busy or maybe I am reading too far in to it or maybe I am being just selfish but it sounds like I am being blown off, at least to me.

This has lead me to question whether or not I really do have any friends at all, let alone friends on. I guess what I am trying to say is that I do not understand why people hate me so much, even those that do not know me. Even before I became I repeated target of bullying, I was quite the opposite of what I am today; in fact, I was quite the happy-go-lucky child and even my own mother has noticed this change in me. I have tried repeatedly to make friends, to try and find even a single woman who would accept me for me and it has all been for nought. Every day of my life I am virtually ignored by everyone who is not a family member; some even go as far to scowl at me, even though I may be doing nothing more than walking by with an emotionless expression. Keep in mind, as well, that my personality online and my personality in real life are one in the same.

Perhaps this is me being paranoid, and many have believed me to be so, but I feel like everyone seems to see some innate darkness within me, a darkness even I myself am unaware of. I try to make people see the good in me, but it seems like those efforts have all but failed. All I ever wanted was one, single friend that I could have there for me, someone who would not stab me in the back as soon as I turn around but I suppose that this was simply too much to ask. Again, maybe I am paranoid, but it seems all too coincidental that out of a planet of six billion people that I would not be able to find someone who would not stab me in the back. If only such "luck" would extend to my poker ability, then I would not have to worry about finances, at least.

It is with this that I would like to ask the community to their thoughts in solving this. I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on these matters, even those who do not know me may chime in. I simply want to get to the bottom of this matter so that I may move on with my life so please let me know with honesty and truthfulness.

Conclusions
Having gotten this off my chest, I would like to announce that my day's as User:Prodigy X are over. Once I return, I will be using a username and this may or may not be obvious to users. I will not being announcing "Hey! I am Prodigy!" so anyone who may be interested in staying connected may have to look for the similarities. Thank you to all who supported me and may continue to support me as you individuals are probably the closest things I have to "friends".