User blog comment:Prodigy X/Announcement and Concerns/@comment-4961229-20140524022148

Wow. I don't know you, Prodigy X. I've been around here a couple of years, but we haven't really conversed that much. I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother. I can tell you that I know what it's like to lose someone close to you suddenly. I lost my mother when I was 9 and my father a while back. Both of them were sudden. It was very difficult to deal with.

I also know what it's like to feel as if you can trust no one outside of your family. I never struggled to find "friends," but I realized after high school that of people you meet and call "friends," during your days on this earth, you're lucky if you can count the real ones on a single hand. Luckily I had lots of brothers, a sister, and cousins that I'm close with so I never really needed friends. I can't really tell you how to make true friends other than to become really comfortable in your own skin. Then you'll draw people to you with ease and you can pick and choose. I can't give you advice on how because it's different for everyone. But once you reach that point where you hit your stride things get a lot easier. It's hard if you don't have that extended family structure. You have a sister and a mother. You still have family. It may be difficult, but in times of trial if you reach out to those you know love you, you can bridge the divide between despair and hope and move towards a better place in your life. Sometimes looking after loved ones who are hurting just like you eases your own pain far more than them.

I can tell you that I never really felt alone until both my parents were gone. I wallowed in misery for quite some time. Then one day at the onset of dawn I was lying in bed asleep. As I groggily awoke and rolled over to dread the sunlight shining in my window, I heard my father's voice just as plain as day. It sounded like he was right outside my door; I swear to god. He called my name and said rather loudly, "Get your ass up!" I jumped up and ran to the door, thoroughly convinced that he'd be standing on the other side when I threw it wide. He wasn't. For a moment I was devastated, but only for a moment. I recalled that tone of voice he used to motivate me, to spur me on, to lift me up and galvanize my inner resources. I set about climbing the long hill out of depression by doing the things that brought me joy and pulling my family close.

I won't tell you to move on; you'll do that when you're ready. However, though you never get over such a loss, there will come a time when it gets easier, when the empty space besides you aches only when it rains, when most days you only remember the good times you had with those you've lost... and you just know in your heart they're smiling down on you. And their memory will motivate you, spur you on, lift you up and grant you wherewithal to weather the storms on the horizon.

Good luck to you and God bless. I'll put you in my prayers tonight.