User blog:Silver-Haired Seireitou/Sake Time with Sei - Character Review: Madara Uchiha

Welcome everybody, to the newest installment of Sake Time with Sei. Get yourselves a drink and get comfortable.



Since the manga is coming to an end soon, there isn't much point doing chapter reviews at this point. Therefore, I've decided to embark on a new project of character reviews. For today, I've decided to do a manga character from the canon: everybody's favorite psychopath, Madara Uchiha. In the future, I'd like to do reviews of this kind for fanon characters, but only for characters submitted by people; therefore, you submit your character knowing full well this is meant to be a comic review and not a serious one really.

Without further adieu, let's begin.

Character Review: Madara Uchiha


I often hear people ask, how could anybody hate this guy? That's like asking why we don't think Hitler was a swell dude.

Let's start with Appearance, shall we? Madara is a standard Uchiha by the fact that he has that emo spiky black hair and shit. God forbid you put any thought into an Uchiha that doesn't look like they just came back from a Lee Roth concert, Kishi.

And... that's it. That is Madara's entire physical identity.

Besides the bags under his eyes from most likely going to bars every night to drink down the pain of the loss of his brothers... This just got serious, didn't it?

Seriously though, those whorehouse bag eyes of his are the only thing standing in the way of him being a bishōnen. Kishi already knew what tree he was barking up with Madara and Hashirama, and probably doesn't want to fan the flames of the yaoi fan boys. God knows we have enough NaruSasu people running around without being properly medicated.



...It'd be too easy to make a joke out of this. Madara needs to stop looking at jail bait Hashirama Junior like that.

Madara is like obsessed with dancing. It's a cool habit of his, I will admit, to relate fighting to dancing. But when every third sentence out of his surprisingly unchapped lips has something to do with tango or mambo, it gets rather suspicious. And then, it hit me.

In a world where Madara could live as a normal person...

...He had only one true dream.



"I will enjoy dealing with you, Hashirama... on the road to my true dream!"

But I can't complain so much about his dancing metaphors. Just like his coiffed 3000-yen haircut, it's literally his only defining trait that sets him apart. Let's look at his other traits.

Arrogant.

...Uh...

Haughty.

...Um...

Conceited...

Er...

...Supercilious

Arghh...

Other synonyms of arrogant.

And that's it.

But yeah, totally not the same as every other Uchiha to ever grace the walls of Konoha's Uchiha district after Itachi cut them up.

...Too soon?



"You talkin' shit, bro?"

I will say this though.

What I enjoyed most about Madara was the initial mastery over Fire Release that he displayed;

...Once

Summoning that massive wave of fire that took several Water Release walls to barely neutralize the attack was something I did half-expect to see when Madara first showed up in the manga. Given the Uchiha's tendency for Fire Release, and Madara being acclaimed as the clan's strongest (you know, before Sasuke became an ungrateful brat and decided to commit genocide with Hagoromo's powers), it was something I hoped to see.

But most fantastic, in the anime, was Madara being a total one-man army and ramming into the Ninja Alliance (uh huh huh huh... ramming) like fucking Rambo on 'roids. He fucked their shit up so bad, I guarantee you that about 70% of them won't be able to sit to use the toilet for a couple months while the other remaining 30% just decided to transfer to the Land of Iron. Fuck this war, we're going to neutral territory. We'll be safe there. Right? ...Right? Please say right.



Shinobi: "Come on everybody, we've got him in the ropes now! We'll force him on the defensive!" Madara: "God, this whole plan is just gone to shit. Obito's just running off on his own and who knows what this Kabuto fucker is up to. This is just like that jockstrap incident, only I don't have young Hiruzen to dig up the holes."



"This might be sort of random, but how good are you at digging holes?"

Kishi said in an interview one time that Madara was a villain that has no weakness. I disagree. Hang a picture of Hashirama in a speedo and he'll go down for the count.

Hope you enjoyed this review! ...If you can call it that. --Silver-Haired Seireitou (Dosvidaniya, tovarisch.) 02:42, October 18, 2014 (UTC)