Talk:Nora Murakami

Quality Committee Advice
Yo Kasumi, while patrolling the wiki activity, I noticed this article, Nora Murakami. As a member of the Quality Committee, I'll advise you on how to make Nora a better article. So let's begin, shall we?

Grammer
Grammar is basically one of the essential aspects about any article. A good author must possess a fine sense of grammar, which is gained mostly through experience and time. While reading the article, I noticed some minor grammar mistakes that you should take care of and look out for in your future articles.


 * In the first paragraph in the appearance section. You made a slight and common mistake amongst authors. You forgot to put a comma before "which". The sentence was, "He has a chakra metal prosthetic right arm which is what made him famous throughout the shinobi world." now you can choose to put a comma before "which" or replace it with "that".


 * In the first paragraph of the personality section. You wrote "As for his relationships outside of his unusual family he has only a couple of friends despite his charisma." so basically, you should have put a comma after "family". A comma is used in order to separate between sentences and to give a better sound to the sentence, making it seem as if you're hearing the narrator speak. You should add a comma wherever you pause. Additionally, "despite" is always preceded by a comma.


 * In the end of the second paragraph of the personality section, you wrote "He believes that few very close friends are better then a thousand friends." in the case of comparison between two things, you should replace "then" with "than".


 * Now while I know this is unintentional, yet I feel like I should address it. In the first paragraph of the background section, you wrote "Due to his paralysis from the legs down he was considered to weak to be a real Murakami clan member." I believe that you meant "the" not "he".


 * In the ability section, in the Taijutsu sub-section, you wrote "Nora's taijutsu skill is decent, it isn't anywhere near close to the skill level of Kaneko Fist users but he isn't a shinobi someone should take lightly." "but" is typically preceded by a comma.


 * In the ability section, in the Genjutsu sub-section, you wrote "Nora's genjutsu skills are not equal to his Child of Chakra daughter but thanks to the Ketsugan he isn't a foe an opponent should take lightly when it comes to Genjutsu." "but" should be preceded by a comma.

And that's all for the grammar errors, don't worry, we've all made mistakes when we were starting out. Make sure you learn from them so you can be a better author in the future.

Sentence Structure
Now this is very important as well. Sentence structure is crucial for any author. By this, I mean you should take care of the sentences flow. Make sure that they are easy to read and that the reader won't have a hard time reading them. This can be done by several methods. One of the most efficient is to read each paragraph twice or thrice before publishing it. You should acknowledge where the errors are as you would feel odd reading the sentences.

Another way to improve the sentence structure is to satisfy the eye of the reader by using "synonyms", which are basically other words for a certain word that carry the same meaning. This should give the sentence a nice rhythm and it would make it much enjoyable to read.

Plot and Length
To be honest, I think this is the most important section of all. You see, the problem with Nora is that you did not plan out his plot nor did you care for the length and detail of the article. Now let me elaborate. Basically, Nora's plot doesn't exist. In his background, you gave us little detail about his life, the environment where he was born, etc. All you did was mention two events in his life with very little detail, which won't cut it. If you want a good article, you have to be willing to detail it as much as possible, not just merely write for the sake of writing. You have to feel a certain connection with the character.

Plus, his abilities are very vague and with very little detail. In his Kekkei Genkai sub-section, you mentioned the Kekkei Genkai he possesses and didn't go into detail about how he uses them or how he makes them unique. In his Taijutsu sub-section, you only made it seem as if he's the fastest shinobi, without going into detail about his other physical attributes nor his Taijutsu style. Not even the training regimes he went through in order to get to that state. Both his Ninjustu and Genjutsu sub-sections are one sentence each and you only mention his ability to use every element in his Nature Transformation sub-section.

Now let me ask you, are you really happy with Nora? I mean he has no detail, not even an introduction. My advice to you is to spend more time on planning for your characters and their abilities. To have fun writing them and to spend time and effort writing them. If you do that, no one would be able to deny the quality of your work. However, if you want to make a character who's basically an infobox, then I would refrain you from making him.

You can turn Nora into a badass, all you need to do is put effort into him and conceptualize his abilities and his background. As for the length of the article, I always do this with my articles.


 * Introduction: At least 1,500 bytes.


 * Appearance: At least 3,000 bytes.


 * Personality: At least 5,000 bytes.


 * Background: At least 15,000 bytes.


 * Abilities: Optional, but I never go less than about 40,000 bytes.

So yeah, that's all for now. I hope my advice will help you in your writing. If you require any assistance, please feel free to message me. Peace. Jinsui (My Talkpage ) 00:57, January 17, 2015 (UTC)